9:29 am / 26.06.04
how many times
will you not hear
i'm not saying it after this anymore.
if my heart and my head are a game to be played
by you who have played it
and beat it
and played it again
please don't call me
just don't think of me
how much can you hate me if you only
set me up for failure
then get mad at me for failing,
am i not entitled to some confidants?
and i not entitled to worring about you?
am i not allowed to still think you're a wonderful person
even after the mistakes i made?
you say you don't create drama
then you only create fear
and it isnt worth my worry to complain about it here
but i am hurt and it burns me
that i am worth enough to you
to make this summer even more like hell.
so I am sorry.
that i fell into the trap you knew i would fall into
and i am sorry
that you feel like you have to punish me for the shit i did
and i am sorry
that i made mistakes and made more mistakes
afterall you're the one who said i wasnt important,
if i'm not important,
why do you fuck with my mind.
I'm done with you,
you and all the memories i had of you
I'm done with hearing your name and crying
and hearing the cds you made me and crying
and thinking of times you hurt me unintentionally
I have other reasons to cry.
I am not a well run dry
but i wont cry over you anymore.
I won't pretend to need you anymore.
i wont pretend i even want you anymore.
i wont need or want anyone anymore.
is that it?
I've apologized multiple times
but i know you won't accept it.
I've stopped worring about you
because you don't want my concern.
so I know it isn't my place but
I let you free.
go find someone else to care about you.
it just sucks
because in the beginning
i never ment to hurt you.