6:56 pm / 30.06.04
knocking on a wooden door
the stairs behind me creek with weight a
as another woman comes from
bottom to top.
and footsteps narrow to the other side of your door
and watching the handle turn
i smile in anticipation of seeing you
when the swinging has finished.
we exchange eachothers names,
with a greeting, so rehearsed, no director could fix it.
do you know i shaved my legs before coming?
i've been washing my hands all day long
you've cut your hair?
allowing for a moment of silence.
you offer me a beer,
too early i don't drink it.
you tell me about the party last night
and no words exchanged about the waterfall.
i noticed that the lights in your bathroom were on,
and when i went inside, to calm myself,
i know you've taken a condom from your shelf.
i counted yesterday..
i counted.. 4
we sit on the scratchy brown couch
touching hands and giggling to the jokes you tell.
i am waiting to feel you.
am i wrong to not wait for love?
wrong we are not in love.
you get high and i get tired
and we kiss while sinking into the sofa.
you can grab my tits and hold me as close as you see fit
because i am wanting and willing to have you
because i am lonely today
no one says they love me
but physically i know you're making it.
we can make love
even though we don't feel it.
i can pretend to love you
because you hold me so close.
knocking on the door,
the stairs reveal another woman coming up
the door is locked
we ignore the knocks
and go back to the matter at mouth.
if you say those things again...