6:04 pm / Wednesday, Apr. 04, 2007
Hey Everyone! I've realized today that I have been writing in this diary for 7 years. A while into writing here I made an "about me" page that, looking back at now, makes me feel like a child. I am a child but I at almost 21 years old I feel like It's time I make a new section about myself. If you would like to see the old one, here it is.
Things we know about me:
My name is Emily. I like it when people call me Emmy.
My favorite colors are Orangey-Gold, and Greens and Browns.
I love mexican food. El Vaquero especially.
My favorite bands range from Paul Simon, to Andrew Bird, to Ghostface Killah, to Frontier Ruckus. There isn't a genre that I don't enjoy. To me music is about the quality of the song writing. Not the genre.
I have the most amazing family in the world. My mother and father are overly supportive and wonderful. My brother and sister love me and are my friends. My life is wonderful in a million ways.
I find myself in overwhelming amounts of wonder about where I am in my life. I am so happy in every aspect of who I am and where I am, but I want to share that with someone.
I am in constant need of love. That's the basic of it all. I need love, fulfillment, and attention. I think we all need these things. I just fear I will never recieve them at the rate at which I need them.
That brings me to my fears. The usuals. The fear of becoming the crazy cat lady. The fear of dying alone. The fear of rejection, The fear of being unloveable.
And my Joys. Writing a good poem. Drinking a really good beer. Seeing life in technicolor, listening to a song I love. Orgasms. sleeping next to someone I love (even platonically). Being recognized for my achievements and talents.
As for Religion. I consider myself agnostic. I admit to defeat when it comes to organized religion. When I die I might learn something until then I will appriciate this world as I see fit. I will treat it with the respect of something I made myself, because I mean how do I know it wasn't made, and if it wasn't then it's not going to hurt anyone to respect this earth and the people on it.
When it comes to love I am atticted to it. I love knowing someone enjoys my company enough to want to be with me in a relationship. I am not a needy girlfriend. I like space. I throw all of myself into friendships so I have a filthy habbit of falling in love with my best friends. I eventually realize that this only leads to awkwardness, but someone day I truly believe that one of them will be both my best friend and my boyfriend.
As for my friends. They're amazing people who fulfill diffrent aspects of my needs as a friend. I'll list them.
Colin: Colin has been my best friend for about 6 years now. We have the same sense of humor, obsession with popular culture, and taste in music. He's my favorite person in the entire world. For a while I thought he could be the love of my life, until I realized what a special friendship we have. I couldn't live without him as my best friend. Any boyfriend I ever have will have to love colin because he will always be in my life.
Mary: Mary is my closest girl friend from home. She's a constant party. She knows when to take my shit and when to call me on it. I appriciate her for her strength as a christian, and as a female.
Gabriella: Gabby is my best friend at school. She confusses me constantly. She's the most flirtatious person I've ever met. She's absolutly wonderful and most of the time I feel codependant on her. She finishes my sentences. She is forthright and sassy. She calls me on my shit. She doesn't understand me yet, but we spend enough time together that she'll get it sooner than later.
Andra: Andra is like an older wiser sister. She and I have the relationship that I always wished my actual sister and I had. She treats me like a human being, but understands that I'm still learning about everything. She respects my analytical side.
Tyler and Trevor and Preston: My three best male friends at school. Tyler is too smart for his own good, and knows how to flaunt it in a way that makes him completely approachable. He is hilarious and unapologetical. Trevor is one of the funniest people I've ever met. He appriciates his past. He has goals, and so much love inside of him that it's sometimes hard to understand him. He is respectful of all living things, even though he tries to pass of as a hardass sometimes. Preston is going to make a wonderful father or uncle someday because he has the support system thing figured out. I could trust him with any secret I would ever have. He would think it was funny if I needed his help burying a body. He's my precious.
I can't really think of many other things to write but I might add to this later.