1:25 am / 11.01.04

for a second i feared that death would

find me hiding here under the table


but i open my eyes to find i am only

starring at my cealing.

i almost screamed when i felt death closing me in

but my table grew taller and

widened to make 4 legs into tree trunks

and i slept leaning against them

moss for a down mattress and

dirt for my pillow.

He sat beside me asking if i knew who he was

he looked so firmilliar,

like some boy i knew

but his face kept evolving into

someone new

and i could feel my heart beat quicken

and my pupils grow smaller

when he reached out to touch my face

"death" he said "is when true love begins"

the rotting of old

cries with newly born tears

and he touched my face

with thin fingers and bones

just brushed my hair from my cheek

but his fingers were warm soft and


he told me to smile

that love is at the gate

that I will find him waiting there for me

he told me that love had no space

no definate volume

no feel

no feeling.


I will know him when i see him

I will trust death when i meet him

I will stand on my bed here and scream

The Love I'm trying to find isnt real

because death is only a dream.

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