been shaking all afternoon
feel like an adict
with no addiction
except maybe my computer
and diet pepsi.
Hotter than hell in my house
and noone's home
so i've been singing my
lungs off.
tryin to get
out of here
out of this feeling
like im
the best i will get, but im still not good enough
even for my best friends.
cuz latly,
they all just leave me behind.
never tellin me their secrets
or their worries about their lives
and they're all caught up in beauty
that i cant seem to find.
and they all listen to Mn'M songs
that seriously drive me crazy
i like the music with real talent
and real emotions
other than hatred for everyone but yourself.
How about you stop being so selfish Marshal Mathers? Did you ever think about that?
But i guess thats the only thing
i have a point of view on
cuz, everyone talks about
war
and the war on abortions.
well i dont know how i feel.
wont till im in that situation
or even then.
I'd let a die decide.
and Is it just me
or has everyone in the world become
so much more beautiful in
the past ten days.
including myself.
i just wish i could glow.
i could throw away all my worries
and just shine.
like the way i do in my dreams
like the way i feel i should glow.
like that way i feel i could glow.
and Im being tested on what i know
and what i dont.
my friends telling me Im not faithful anymore
if you only knew.
knew the days i have spent yelling at a reflection
telling her she's got to shape up
or she'll be locked up somewhere
someplace where
even the doves wont cry for you.
But im not surrounded by doves anyways.
just mockingbirds
and we all know how much of a sin it is to hate
mockingbirds.
so i sit alone singing with them
as my hands shake
and my skin goosepimples
and i just keep on typing
keep on writing
waiting for someone
to serve me a dream
chocolate and warm
because i just want to be.
a little bit better.
at being who i am not.
7:16 pm - Tuesday, Jan. 21, 2003
Recent entries:
Babs! - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
Golden Heads - Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009
doublee - Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009
alone, I shine. - Thursday, Aug. 27, 2009
save me. - Sunday, Aug. 16, 2009
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