11:32 pm / 12.10.04
i am skin and fat and bones
i look in mirrors obsessed.
I am ugly.
why did i not see it before.
i am ugly.
it has been so long cince someone reminded me that i am.
i am so ugly.
I see my face
it is strange.
eyes too squinty
mouth too large
i can't even believe how ugly i am.
I don't feel beautiful anymore.
everyday i spend more time on my appearance
wishing to find that look again
that weight again
that sparkle again.
somewhere in me i can be beautiful.
but it seems so clear now that i've realized.
I was never the beauty to be painted.
I am the ugly one.
The ugly sister, the ugly soul the ugly daughter.
how will anyone ever love me
if i am this ugly?