ten dollar bill in my bra
i smile and smear more foundation
on my face
hiding behind the hairgel
and toenail polish.
sometimes i wonder
if i am really like this.
if I am really this girl
or if I've just been stuck inside
a fat suit cince i was so young i forget
eyeliner
and pinched in cheeks
and blue no green
no.
blue eyeshadow.
only ugly people say looks dont matter
so i must be ugly
but only beautiful people are happy
so i must be beautiful
only girls cry over boys
I must be a girl
only boys don't give a damn.
I must be a man.
darting glances to foreign faces
pretty
conventional
too fat
too thin
needs make up
more color
stand up straight.
but only ugly people
say looks don't matter.
6:53 pm - 08.10.03
Recent entries:
Babs! - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
Golden Heads - Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009
doublee - Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009
alone, I shine. - Thursday, Aug. 27, 2009
save me. - Sunday, Aug. 16, 2009
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