homeoldernotesrings

looks don't matter
6:53 pm / 08.10.03

ten dollar bill in my bra

i smile and smear more foundation

on my face

hiding behind the hairgel

and toenail polish.

sometimes i wonder

if i am really like this.

if I am really this girl

or if I've just been stuck inside

a fat suit cince i was so young i forget

eyeliner

and pinched in cheeks

and blue no green

no.

blue eyeshadow.

only ugly people say looks dont matter

so i must be ugly

but only beautiful people are happy

so i must be beautiful

only girls cry over boys

I must be a girl

only boys don't give a damn.

I must be a man.

darting glances to foreign faces

pretty

conventional

too fat

too thin

needs make up

more color

stand up straight.

but only ugly people

say looks don't matter.

last _ next